Friday, September 10, 2010

Change Agent vs. Bystander

Hello Friends,
Welcome back!
If you are new to this blog, please read the Preamble before reading further...
I start this story with an experience I had recently. It was  early morning.  I was getting ready to leave with my family for a weekend entrepreneurial conference. Fresh out of steaming shower, I applied a top notch shaving gel which I daily use and started to shave. I unpacked that brand new five blade razor and started shaving.  With my daily shaving habit, I did not offer much to do for this five blade razor - I thought. Yet, only couple of strokes after, I was like -
“Oh Boy!  How in the world do people use a razor - whether it is single blade conventional razor or this latest five blade shaving system - it feels like a surgery on the face done with a broken wine bottle!” 
On that day, I was perforce using a razor on my face first time after couple of years. On an already clean face, it should be utterly butterly easy for this technologically advanced five blade razor. But, as I glided through every stroke, I could hear the sound of each blade scraping the tiny stubs. Needless to say, I got nicks and it was certainly like surgery on my face. My hands trembling after those few strokes but I finished the ritual.
I am pretty sure it is not the fault of new razor. In fact, the problem lies with me!  It is more than a couple of years now since I had changed to an electric rotary shaver.  Obviously, my skin and I got so used to the rotary shaving. I bought an advanced wet rotary shaver with moisturizer dispensing system - Norelco 8060X in August 2008.
Unlike the razors, as you know, the shaver head needs a change only once every year. That luxury was enough for me to get lazy. I had not ordered my replacement though it was more than a year since I changed the head. It had really become bad. I have to leave the next day morning and I really wanted to look good. It’s past business hours when I realized I have to buy new razor head. So, Ordering online for an in-store pick up from my Partner Store Sears.com was ruled out. Having converted a trivial chore into an emergency already,  I ran (of course, drove) to a 24 hour convenient store near my home to buy the replacement head. While they carry full rotary system I use, strangely, they don’t have replacements stocked. So, I bought this ultra latest 5 blade razor as a stop gap arrangement.

Anyways, while I was going through that forced surgery, I wantonly let my thoughts to sift through my mental archive to see what was my experience when I first used the new rotary shaver after giving up my 25 years of experience with wide array of razor types.
There it is! I was elated as the experience of  my first rotary shave stored in the mental archive got promptly retrieved. I began to rerun the mental video from my memory. Yes, it is vivid and clear - I recalled how I felt then!  Amazingly, my feeling was exactly similar to the one I had with this five blade razor!
“Geez! How in the world do people use a granite polishing machine on the face?”
I was so used to the blade razor for over quarter century you see!  From those good old days when single blade topaz / swish brands were ruling  in India to a recent 3 blade system.
As I continue to run my mental movie, let us see how I transformed over the last 25 years from blade to rotary razor, how I got that feeling of granite polishing machine on my face.
That was a period when my teen years were about to wane into history. I had already been using single blade razor for couple of years then. One fine day, I saw the advertisement for the revolutionary two blade system on our national TV Doordarshan.
I loved the advertisement. They told us effectively why we must move from single blade to 2 blade to fully remove the stub with a stunning video.  (This video is not from Doordarshan but some what similar to the one we had)
Here you go….the justification for changing from single blade to twin blade razor in 1970’s….
After a while, these blade companies came up with this brilliant idea of triple blade razors. Watch the 3 blade advertisement below. It is funny that they show their own twin blade razors didn’t do the job well that they left a portion of facial stub. I think,  probably, since the time them blade companies invented two blade system, the facial stub also evolved and became like the ND1 drug resistant superbug bacteria. They got stronger and became twin blade resistant. So, their twin blade razor was not efficient anymore.
Here you go again, see the 3 blade advertisement Smile

Convinced of that brainwash, I “upgraded” myself  to the triple blade system in late 1980’s. It is needless to say, I changed from fixed head two, floating head two then to floating three blades in this period. One thing for sure, I bought enough of those fighter jets over the decade long period of my life that I can now operate my own Air Force! Smile 
But, couple of years ago, when they again told me why I should move to a 5 blade system, I really felt jilted.
However, I grudgingly upgraded to a 5 blade system after continuing a while with triple blade system. But, as I said, I was motivated enough to move away from razors. Finally, I called it quits with razors in 2008. Yes, I moved to the rotary shaver. 
Here again, there is a story… I always wanted to move to a rotary shaver but I was not able to imagine shaving on a dry skin without water. On the other hand, I have never liked the fixed head wet shavers available. Of course, I evaluated  a moisturizer based wet shaver sometime in 2001 in Luxembourg while on a project. I was just a “whisker” away before I decided against Smile . So moving to a rotary was already in my mind but the razor companies could succeed only with their five blade system. Getting serious about moving to rotary, when I did the research in 2008 ( many a times it is a fashion to call Binging or Googling as research. In my case it is simply a “re” -search). To my pleasant surprise, I found this new floating head rotary system from Phillips’ Norelco with moisturizer. I felt more comfortable as the head is not fixed one. I can also use my shave gel for extra smooth shaving. So, finally I am convinced I found out what I have been looking for. I ordered it from one of my partner stores online. It was the end of  the era of blades in my life. Year 2008 turned out to be my rotary shaver year!
Couple of days later, when I received my new rotary shaver from my online partner stores, I was like a kid in candy store. I quickly unpacked it and ran into bathroom to  set up the dispenser cum charger. As soon as I powered it on, it auto loaded the moisturizer into the shaver reservoir while charging its new battery. WOW…I loved its bright blue color. I had to wait till it charged fully but, I would say those 60 minutes I waited impatiently were the slowest one hour. Finally, I washed my face thoroughly with steaming hot water and switched on the shaver. I moved the machine on my face with its head dispensing the moisturizer. As it started shaving, alas, it was a shocking experience. Having bought that expensive shaver, I was expecting a moisturized  smooth shave and I thought I would look like Tom Cruise. But, it was literally like a granite polisher running on my face. I got really worried what in the world I did wrong. I pulled out the user manual from the carton only to find that first page warning to new users! 
I read somewhere, most men usually read the user manual only after they start using or attempting to set up the new product they bought. WOW, I proved it right here! The warning said that it takes at least 3 weeks for the facial skin to get acclimatized to the new shaving method. During this period of 3 weeks, do not switch to razor blade system to allow the skin to get used to new way of shaving.
Lights off!
My mental video ended on comparing the five razor experience vs first time rotary shave experience. It is neither the fault of razor blade system nor rotary shaver to make you feel wine bottle surgery vs. granite polishing machine. It is how the skin got used to one system or the other and it takes time to undo that.
In our every walk of life, we have been conditioned by one way or the other. It could be external influence or self fulfilling prophesies. Any change to our one form of conditioning whether it is physical or mental – it will have resistance to change. It takes time to adapt. For many this is the challenge. They either don’t indulge in changing or they easily give up before they adapt.
I was reading a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz. It was written in 1960’s. A pioneering author in the concepts which many modern day motivational speakers follow. He says “It usually requires a minimum of about 21 days to effect any perceptible change in mental image”
Moral of the story: Like my long shaving story above, in our mind we have several programming instilled since  our childhood. Unless we make a conscious and persistent effort to go beyond that initial switching period hiccups, we might end up thinking that we are not fit for that new change or what we know or what we are used to till date is the best. In my case,  I would have returned the rotary shaver on day 2 had I not endured the sweet pain of acclimatization. 
Success is an upwardly mobile process of accomplishment. That said, willingness to change becomes an essential ingredient of accomplishment – a change from one conditioning or state to another.
A change that will take you on success path has five essential ingredients:
  1. A conscious desire / motivation / need to change
  2. A clearly defined, upwardly mobile target state of accomplishment – it can be faith, family, finance, and/ or fitness related. Finance includes your professional accomplishment.
  3. Decision
  4. Practice
  5. Unswerving Persistence
In the process of what we do, sometimes we tend to jump to negative conclusions even before the word go or form adverse opinion. If you look at it, it is due to lack of one or more of the above 5 ingredients or somebody said something about what we do. The opinions  one forms in mind, which is necessarily not correct, can also become stumbling blocks in that person’s forward march.  In order for a person to understand what is correct with respect to a particular aspect, either the person must experience it first hand by investing him or herself wholeheartedly in it with all the above 5 ingredients or research using appropriate standards. Mere Googling or Binging will not help one to understand the correct position.
While accomplishing your worthwhile goal, you change. Change is inevitable. The metamorphic effect accompanying the change can propel you to be a change agent to pass the legacy of your success to others. As a change agent, you can touch millions of people around you positively, if you choose to be one. But, before you become a change agent, when you undergo that metamorphic process of personal change, you may also repel someone around you unconsciously or consciously.  It is also inevitable. During the time you undergo change,  from those you repel or someone with lack of understanding, you may face criticism, cynic comments born out of ignorance or opinions they have formed about themselves, you and the things you do. 
As the book “Slight Edge” by Jeff Olson teaches, your own philosophy shapes your actions – good or bad. Attitude plays a big role in shaping your philosophy. It also means, a person doesn’t know what he or she doesn’t know. So, an adverse action or opinion as a reaction to a particular circumstance is born out of only what a person already knows. Therefore, such criticism shall not put a winner off.
While being a change agent you deal with other people to help them accomplish their goals. In that process, you may face other hurdles, too. In his book “Success Makeover”, Wes Beavis says:
“Helping people is hard. That’s why so many opt for helping animals and rain forests”
On many occasions, in my mentorship effort, I have found people rushing to judgment based on preconceived notions. At times, it may be frustrating to see even some of the people successful in their professional career, academically well endowed showing   tendency to rush to judging people with preconceived notions, casting aspersions on aspects which they don’t know. They could react in a manner similar to what we otherwise normally call as racial slur in social parlance.  They fail to see beyond what they can fathom and tend to treat any change agents, path breakers or trendsetters as controversial or cult figures. I draw my inspiration from the people I follow – the people who control both time and money. I constantly associate myself to learn from them and become one among them in order for me to impact many others positively. So, such slurs mentioned above do not impact me. I see my purpose. My dreams. 
It also shows human kind has had this challenge of slurs all through the ages – Sri Shankara, Sri Ramanujacharya, Buddha, Jesus, Prophet Mohammed, Galileo, Wright Brothers all have undergone the ignominy inflicted by change resisters. But, these change agents became great people because of their winning attitude and they “TAKE NO PRISONERS” in accomplishing their mission. They are fanatic about their goals, if you will. And, people bereft of dreams can not stand them. Who cares! One can not satisfy everyone every time in everything!
If you are a change agent, you must understand the fact that doing anything worthwhile,  the life in general, a business proposition, or an innovation is not  like doing  Google Instant Search. It is deeper than that. It is experience. It is about being in the arena not as spectators but being on the play area as a participant. It is not shaped by the opinions of spectators. It is also about following a mentor’s words faithfully, where you have one. A mentor is one who has been there and done that kind. It is not to be shaped by people who are merely “been there and quit that”. 
Another major stumbling block in a person’s forward mobility is the influence of another breed called experts. I am always wary of “experts” voicing their so called expert opinions. I am amazed how these self fulfilling experts get on air as soon as anything happens in the world to megaphone their views on popular news channels. People have opinion about everything whether it is right or wrong or whether they know about it or not. My mentor once said, opinion is free and is omnipresent like human beings having armpits and everyone has two of them SmileIn the research thesis written in the 1930s, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says these words:
“The majority of people who fail to accumulate money sufficient for their needs are, generally, easily influenced by the opinion of others. They permit the newspapers and the gossiping neighbors to do their thinking for them. Opinions are the cheapest commodities on the earth.”
Many of us tend to follow the words of these “experts” who have no vested interest in our success. Because they are  “expert” opinions, we tend to follow them blindly. Don’t we know what the “Experts” of Wall Street  have been saying in those days before recession. What happened to the ratings of the credit rating agencies! It is hard for anyone to digest the fact that many of these experts just swam with the current before the recession. They advised on what to do in stock market and what not to do. After everything fell, they still swim with the current to tell you what went wrong in the economy, exotic financial products, and what not - except themselves. Who make them “experts”! To oversimplify, perhaps all that one needs is ability to speak, a time on the cable TV channel’s paid program slots. He or she becomes instant expert and keeps rotating the mouth incessantly.   What he or she says  becomes infallible for the followers just for that moment in a microwave society.
On the same vein, I am aghast to see an explanation of  an “expert” on CNN.com while explaining the “bystander effect” witnessed during a recent untoward incident in California -  "If you are in a crowd and you look and see that everyone is doing nothing, then doing nothing becomes the norm." explains Drew Carberry, a director at the National Council on Crime Prevention.
Amazing indeed!
Now, let us see the quality of bystanders who are not part of any success process. They are either spectators or critics.  Badmouthing is an essential part of a bystanders’ profile. They badmouth on everything especially on other’s success. They have opinion on everything especially on other’s upward mobility.
Take some of the commercial successes and what the common factors in all these. FaceBook has over 500 million subscribers, now. So, badmouthing about its success, filing lawsuits have become rampant, now. In stead of emulating or innovating Facebook, these naysayers form forums for picking on it. Since the time Wal-Mart became retail powerhouse, badmouthers started their work. It is over $400 Billion in revenue. But, bystanders has one reason or the other to form a forum to badmouth on it. Google has grown big, too.  See how many people badmouth about Google. Microsoft is big, as well. So, these bystanders form opinion and badmouth.
I have never been Apple brand user in my whole life. The popularity of iPhone drew attention of the bystanders. iPhone4 came out recently and it had its share of woes from these naysayers about an overly exaggerated antenna problem.  I have a smart phone for the past 2 years. It looks almost similar to the iPhone4 with metal rim around the sides. see picture below:
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If you observe, it has a crevice exactly at the same place as iPhone4. It has a sticker on the back of the phone which reads “For best performance, DO NOT touch this area when using your phone”. Alas, it is exactly where I would carry when I speak on the phone.  Yet, none spoke about it. Apple is popular. Opinion makers and experts get more attention, air time, commercial bloggers more hits to talk bad about something successful. They get to earn more with more air time and page clicks.
Moral of the story: It is the tree with lots of fruits at which more stones thrown at!
Any of these opinion makers are just bystanders. They don’t innovate. They critique and provide resistance to the winners. In a way, a winner would say “Thank you, Bystanders”! Coz, winners hate path of least resistance. Bystanders and naysayers provide the much needed resistance to winners which winners relish.
All these experts be it antenna, technology, stocks, psychology, medical field and what not – they need key words, cable TV slots, their blogs (you can choose to include me as well), or anonymous comments section below a creative video, blog uploaded by the creators to vent their nay saying!
Moral of the story:  To quote Napoleon Hill again,
“If you are influenced by the opinion of others, you will have no desire of your own... Take no one into your confidence except the members of your ‘master mind’ group.”
Master Mind group is made up of your mentor(s) who have vested interest in your success.
My mentor says, to succeed in a path never undertaken, it takes guts. One can easily be part of a rut by following the path of least resistance. Even a dead fish can swim downstream. But, let me repeat, it takes guts to succeed, to stand out from the ordinary and be a winner.
Success path can be testing and excruciating like the one evidenced in this video:
Note: Generally, I am scared to cite celebrities as example as we don’t know what kind of  indiscretion they may indulge in the future. But, in this entry I have used a few clippings. Please use them in the context they are used.
Also, notice the Take No Prisoner attitude articulated towards the end of the clipping by this sports person in the video below:
In such winner’s dictionary “But”, “If” “can’t” find no mention. In stead, they become the meaning for the words like “Despite” “in spite of”. Because, they withstand challenges. They overcome to become. Take our winner 1 – Prasannawinner 2 – Ponni or winner 3 – Pravin for instance. They have shown the same tenacity in what they want to achieve in life.  Do you see yourself one among such winners who go through excruciating situations with unswerving tenacity?
I choose to use a video of this world # 2, female badminton player, Saina Nehwal. She is already famous due to her accomplishments and gets enough attention on TV and print media. As said in my preamble, I am not going to talk about her in this forum. But, the winners are her parents. The sacrifice they made with unswerving persistence in her early age is what I am amazed about. In all probability, they too faced the naysayers. They went ahead with their dream without paying heed to the naysayers.  The greatness of their sacrifices is evidenced by this video in Saina’s own words:
Another point is, They were not like many parents who want their children to be master of all taking to every extra curricular activities. Saina’s parents on the other hand set their focus on the sport which she was good and invested all their effort to build her up. Her parents did not create a spectator or hobby player by making her participate in every sport but what she was good at.
Contextually, on the other hand,  I am pained to see young people merely being hobby players of a ball game or crazy fans of sports personalities spending all their time and effort in such pleasure activities. One can choose to be part of innumerable number of spectators,  applaud when winners create records in home runs (baseball), sixes, centuries (in cricket), or the speed of serves set by modern day power rackets (tennis). These professional sportspersons need spectators. Only then, they can savor their success in the arena as well as they can command more endorsement money! But, my question to you is – do you want to be a spectator or a player? When the players set records their packet is filled with more endorsement money. What do you get in the process? Don’t you think you can better invest your time, be your own future’s endorser than being mere spectator. What is your feeling when some of these revered persons in sports or other domains even cheat. They never think of their crazy fans or followers. When they cheat or when they write memoirs to reveal their past misdeeds (a la Woods, A-Rod, Clemens, Agassi, Asif, Amir, Azharuddin, Jadeja, Cronje, and their breed only grows) they fill their packets, too. Because, homo sapiens want to know more about the dirty linen of others washed in public and these so called celebrities cash in that too.
These celebrities of dubious character create dents in the faith of common people which they don’t care about anyways. They lack integrity and can not be followed for our worthwhile effort. In stead, read books like Think and Grow Rich to choose your master mind alliance. Choose only those who are having vested interest in your growth, success and  be crazy about following such persons. Because, they know your dreams and they know how they play an influencing role in helping you accomplish them. Don’t be an unknown crazy fanboy in the whole wide world. But, be a mentee of a master mind alliance with unflinching faith. 
Create positive impact on the society, generations and create legacy. I am particularly impressed by this celebrity who stands out to fight the d-r-u-g menace in her country through education. She definitely creates legacy by educating the youth. Her speech at Oxford University articulating democratization of education is very powerful. She also represents my dream articulated in my earlier entries. I respect her wisdom to choose education as tool to alleviate world’s problems including internecine fights. Note: As I said, use the video for the context and I don’t know about this celebrity’s other dimensions.
Moral of this blog entry: The path of success involves change and the changes that you have to go through to accomplish your dreams are excruciating and consuming. Along the way, you may encounter naysayers, cynics, bystanders. Will you be influenced by them or will you jettison them? Such persons can  happen to be your so called friends or relatives, who are not part of your mission but act as stumbling blocks. Such persons may not be made up of the same material as you have been. An eagle to be eagle and soar up, can not keep company of ravens .  As a winner, be fanatical about your dreams. Because, winners Take No Prisoners. They are governed by their dream, work with unswerving perseverance and tenacity. As you accomplish your dreams, you can also be change agent touching millions around you positively.
A spectator defies physics and creates mass with no substance. A winner breaks path and be a player in a game. Success builds legacy. Creates positive impact on generations.
Are you the one who will break the path and leave legacy or leave the world in oblivion by being merely a mass follower? In fact, I wanted to remove the “m” from “mass” but kept the sanctity of this site on mind to decide against.
My question to you today is - are you a spectator/ bystander OR a Change Agent? Choose.
See you in the next entry. Till then, Keep Chargin’
With luv,
Kalyan Open-mouthed smile
September 10, 2010